Afraid of the darkness

I'll often wake to one of my boys standing over me asking if they can sleep with me because they are afraid.  Or requesting that i leave their bedroom door open and the nightlight on.  As a young child i can remember being the same way.  My mom and dad never let us actually get in their bed but did allow me to drag my blanket and pillow into their room and sleep on the floor.

I've been attending Calvary church here in Naperville for sometime now (i really liked the fact that i could go unnoticed)  But, more recently I've been going to the Compass Church (i can't hide as easily, since i go to one of their smaller campuses) This past weekend they had a guest speaker Dr. Michael Rydelnik from Moody Bible.  What do you do when the Lights go Out? Isaiah 50: 4-11
His sermon really resonated with me and got me thinking.  How do i handle the darkness, am i scared? and i faithful? Do i hide? Do i run?  Do i make my own light?

Much like a small child i often feel helpless and lost in the darkness just looking for the light.  I have to remind myself daily that even in the darkness i am not alone.  Even when i can't see him, he can see me... He will never leave my side even when the day is so Dark.  Dr Rydelnik used the analogy of the small child in a burning building,  His father calls out to him.. Jump i'll catch you.  The young boy says but i can't see you.  His father reply's by saying.  But i see you, jump... i'll catch you.
I need to remember to just JUMP, he will catch me.

Recently when i returned home from the pool with the boys (i need to do a long over due update on the boys) i went into the basement to grab something out of the freezer and thats when i saw for the 2nd time this year sewage coming up the basement drain.  It took everything in me not to cry,  Thankfully this time it had not reached the carpet or drywall.  I quickly took action and called out a plumber who showed up in 30 mins.  He assessed the problem and came up with a solution.  After a second gentleman showed up with more equipment and a lot of money later they hopefully solved the problem.  Dark days are hard and sometimes linger... Leaves you asking why?  Why because he knows you can handle it.  It was a put on your big girl panties kind of evening. Bleach in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.  I managed to handle it all.

I am ready for the light to break!  Recently i saw what i thought Gods plan was for me only to realize maybe it wasn't so.  Just another lesson... Lately I've been clinging to Ruth 3:11  He is going to catch me and see me through this time.

Being a mom is hard and no one has all the answers.  I just have to assure myself and my boys that the darkness is nothing to fear.  If a nightlight helps, or a door cracked... let it be.